Character Without God

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I have been in a battle with God for as far back as I can remember. When I was young I believed that all those trials and tribulations were God trying to prepare me for the purpose I was born to do. I endured the heartaches and I always defended God for not being there and not answering my prayers because it was all part of my trials. However, the older I got and the more chaos I faced and the continued lack of answers, I grew in forming a conclusion that perhaps God was not testing me or strengthening me … perhaps God just did not like me.

But what would I have done that God would dislike me?

Why did God not like me? I sought answers from many purveyors of God, and the most common wisdom I received was about faith. Trust that God has a plan. Trust that God loves me. And trust that I am part of God’s plan. I just have to have faith.

In Character Profiling one of the areas I help people with is building the Characters of the Virtue of Intelligence. Passion, Open-Mind, Knowledge, Creativity, and Mastery … each provides an individual with the ability to apply proper measure to self-govern progress from what the individual knows. Progress from what is known … this is the meaning of Intelligence.

I love the word faith, but not many things irk me more than the bastardized use of the word faith. Faith is based in confidence, and confidence is based in knowing. To be without knowing is the word ignorance. To do something without knowing the something or to do something even though you know better, comes from the word “foolish.” Through my Intelligence I must concede that belief in the doctrine gods has made me feel rather foolish.

Because I felt foolish about the doctrine gods, perhaps I should not believe that I was meant for something within God’s plan. Perhaps I should not believe that God did not like me. Perhaps rather, I should just not believe in God. Perhaps it is, just foolish.

Another area I help people with is in building the Characters of the Virtue of Integrity. Honesty, Fidelity, Justice, Appreciation, and Equality … from my Integrity I know that God has been within my thoughts for as far back as I can remember. God is real to me whether I like it or not. To admit to what is real to me is to embrace the whole of me and to be whole in the meaning of Integrity. In Character Profiling, the Pendulum Swing holds reasoning that although I may feel foolish and although I may feel so much hate that I want to not believe, with as much as I hate God, my love is an equal swing. My struggle is not within my Integrity of believing, but rather within my Intelligence about God, that I do not know enough to reason progress with the doctrine gods. And, I want to know God!

In my search to know God I have engaged in discussions with many purveyors of God from many different denominations. And for most of my life I have continued the battle with God.

In our book An Engraved Mark: A Journey to Find Character I talk about that day my life broke from the cyclic pattern of my trials and I stepped into an unknown journey to find Character. When I asked that question; Who the fuck am I, the initial answer held such an entropic revelation that to be honest has cause more anger and hate toward God than peace from which the answer was intended.

Perhaps, God did not know me?

An omnipotent being—All-powerful. An omniscient being—All-knowing. How could such a God … the creator of all things … not know me?

Let us say that I took you on a journey to the edge of our galaxy. There, we turn around and I ask you to point out Earth. Hundreds of billions of stars and over a hundred billion planets … where is the Earth? Add into the mix seven billion humans … where am I on this planet that we cannot even see? Add the infinity of the universe God had created and I become an infinitely small speck that is not even a speck of lint in the knowing of God.

If God does not know me, then why the fuck am I going through all of this bullshit?

I am not a monk on a mountain—yet. In Character Profiling I state that one cannot know others until one knows self. Now, I feel rather sheepish! I have been searching my whole life to know God, but how could I know God if I do not know myself … and how could God know me? I feel even more sheepish as I get so frustrated with the purveyors of God though I am confident that the purveyors themselves do not know themselves to know God.

“You cannot know another until you know self.”

Who is better than me? Who is worse than me? This is the arrogance of comparison. Arrogance is the violation of the Character of Equality within the Virtue of Integrity.

I am the best! My belief is the best! All are deficient to me! This is Hubris. Hubris is the vice to Integrity for hubris is housed only in fear. Hubris starves the Virtue of Humanities. Altruism, Forgiveness, Respect, Social Intelligence, and Collaboration … the Virtue of Humanities tells me that this is my world. Why would a God care to know me if within the God’s creation, I would starve my own world?

The Virtue of Courage means to go beyond the obstacles of risk. To know God, I must face something that is perhaps the most terrifying obstacle that every human will ever face. God does not know me. Thus I must have the Courage to be without God. Yes, even a proclaimed atheist believes in a higher source and thus they also fear the same obstacle.

What kind of human will I be, without God?

To achieve the Virtue of Integrity I must have the Courage to have the accountability of me. I must feed my Humanities. And I must do it on my own!

Character Profiling … define who you are and you find who you are—you know who you are! Only when I know me … then I trust—I am confident—that I will alas know God.

Plugs for AnOddBox:

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTLpLoQDd7w

Indiegogo https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/an-engraved-mark-a-journey-to-find-character–2/x/14855190#/

Website www.anoddbox.com

Forthcoming book An Engraved Mark: A Journey to Find Character http://www.anoddbox.com/an%20engraved%20mark.htm

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AnOddBox Challenge to Win a Perception Profile!!!

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When I post a comment or a blog my intent is to spark collaborative dialog. Admittedly, I am not a big fan of the Like button as although it allows for silent participation the Like button does not achieve resolution or transcendence. Thus I would like to promote a fun challenge.

 

 

In our forthcoming book An Engraved Mark: A Journey to Find Character I make a statement as:

“There is only one absolute truth and I am the only one that knows it.”

We are beta testing our online Perception Profile and we are prepared to offer one (1) free Perception Profile ($200 value) for the individual who can inspire the most collaborative dialog on what my statement means.

We will determine the winner by end of day Monday 10/10/2016. Winner will need to provide email address to us so we can send link and code for the online questionnaire.

Think hard and have fun, and please be collaborative.

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I Just Want to Go Home

rabbitbwCharacter is tested when Character is tested.

When we become really good at something we tend to forget the way it was when we knew nothing of the something.

When we become really good at something, it is often very difficult to teach someone else of the something, when the someone else knows nothing of the something.

To teach someone of something new the teacher must remember the time when the knowledge was zero. I call this Going Back to Zero.

When someone is lost in life, it is because the someone has walked where they were not intended to walk. When standing in the unknown the one is in a desert with three hundred and sixty degrees of horizons that all look the same. Which direction does one go, when no direction is known?

You are your own teacher.

Going back to zero is where you stand at the point when your feet did not know the next step and you learn the step you were intended to take. But going back to zero means retracing the wrong path you once walked–reappraising the lesson..

The following is an excerpt from our forthcoming book An Engraved Mark: A Journey to Find Character. It is but one story. It is not a happy story. But for me it was a necessary story, for going back to zero.

***

I used to write short stories when I was a young man. Under my bed is a box that contains several of such short stories about events that I had experienced in my life. Unfortunately, however, many of my short stories were directly given to the subject who had inspired the story. Thus I do not have many of my stories. The stories were often written in a fiction style through the eyes of The Drifter, as I had always felt like I was only drifting through life. But some were just stories of something I remember.

One story was about a memory that I held in the darkness of my Memory Bag. The story essentially sums up what I have felt, for nearly all of my life.

I Just Want to Go Home

When I was around twelve, I went on a hunting trip with my best friend Gary and his father. We were way out in the prairie sage with three hundred and sixty degrees of endless horizons, covered in a blanket of white snow, looking barren and lifeless. Occasionally an eye of green sage would awaken below a glistening of ice, showing that there was more to this land than what could be seen.

Life was frozen here, and I could feel it in every fiber of my flesh. My ears burned with pain as the wind cursed its frigid scream. My fingers were paralyzed as if frozen to the bone. I could not even use one hand to help the other. I hated it here, and all I wanted to do was go home.

Gary’s dad could see that I was struggling because my hands would not function, and I could not load the 22-caliber bullets into the magazine of my rifle. He stopped us and huddled the three of us together. He took off my gloves and told me to put my hands in the pit of my arms. As he took my rifle and began to load the bullets, I did as he said. The pain in my hands, as they touched the warmth of my chest, was so great that my eyes began to tear. Gary looked at me crying, and I felt embarrassed and weak. After a short time, the pain in my hands diminished to an ache, and I could move my fingers again. I put on my gloves, and Gary’s dad handed me my rifle. We separated to about twenty paces from each other and began to walk back toward the place where we had left the truck. The elements had turned this day into a painful nightmare, and all I wanted to do was go home.

A shot broke the silent march, and I turned quickly to see a small dark mass streak across the blanket of white snow. I did not even think as I raised my rifle and fired. The small dark mass turned so quickly as if it knew when and where the bullet would strike. Gary’s dad fired, Gary fired, I fired. Each time the small dark mass turned and ran. We did not stop shooting. It did not stop running. With every round, we stepped closer and closer to the small dark mass.

Its turns were growing slower and slower until we were only a few feet from the small dark mass. The sight ripped the energy from the chaos and sank the event into guilt and despair. The small dark mass had not been dodging the hail of bullets, it had been reacting as the bullets pierced through its body. There was so much blood that if it were not for the long ears, one could not say that it was a rabbit.

With so much blood it was horrifying that it was still alive, still trying to get away. It stopped right in front of me. Its front left limb reaching out, shaking with fear, it looked right into my heart of self, and begged me, Why? What have I done? I only wanted to go home! What will happen to my family now? I only wanted to go home.

A powerful shot broke the silent plea as Gary’s dad put a bullet into the rabbit’s head. It took all I had to fight the tears, as my eyes were screaming against the realization of what I had done. But the earlier shame still haunted me, I dare not cry again in the witness of my friend and his father.

The day was done. Leaving the torn animal to the elements of life, we went home.

Where I grew up, hunting was a way of life. Killing an animal did not frighten me. Seeing the blood of a kill did not frighten me. But that small rabbit, fighting so desperately to live, so desperately to just go home; we killed it, we left it, and we, so easily, just went home.

That frightened me!

***

Our book is intended to help individuals walk in their own life, directed by their own character. I know that if you choose to want to walk in your own life, you are going to have to go back to zero.

Character is tested when Character is tested.

If you would be willing to help please visit our Indiegogo campaign at https://igg.me/at/AnEngravedMark.

If you have any questions feel free to visit our website at http://www.anoddbox.com or drop us a comment.

Thank you,

Ron and Mary

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Perception Profile

mgc-anoddbox-pprofileA few years ago I created what I call Character Profiling to help individuals define their natural temperaments into genuine Character. The first step in doing Character Profiling is to complete a Perception Profile.

A Perception Profile is how the individual believes themself to be right now. I can attest that so far, nobody has been able to perceive themselves accurately.

Everybody seems to love revealing their personality. Colors, stars, letters, and even animals … everybody seems to love to characterize their personality to say, “This is who I am!” With as much as I have been doing this, there is little doubt in my mind that the majority of your personality that you so adamantly believe is yours, was written by someone else. AND, without genuine Character I am confident to say that ALL of your personality, belongs to that someone else.

I created an online questionnaire that I have an individual complete and from their data I create the silhouette of their Perception Profile. When the individual first receives their profile there is actually disappointment because I do not give them a narrative of who they perceive themselves to be. This is about defining your genuine Character. If I define your character then your character belongs to me.

YOU define your Character. I just help you see it. Again, with as much as I have been doing this, I always seem to be able to see more in your Perception Profile, than you do.

I talk about Character in our forthcoming book An Engraved Mark: A Journey to Find Character. Admittedly, I cannot put all that I know and all that I do in a four hundred page book. But we are hoping that our book will spark a passion for knowing your genuine Character.

Why is genuine Character so important? Just ask yourself, If you had the magical wish, how much of this life that you are living is the life you would truly choose to be living? Genuine Character afford you the ability to choose to live YOUR life. Does it not strike you with a curiosity and excitement–a passion–to know and experience, your life?

Are you intrigued?

We are tentatively scheduled to release our book at the beginning of 2017. We could definitely use your help, but we will release it regardless. The movement of defining Character is that important.

If you would be willing to help please visit our Indiegogo campaign at https://igg.me/at/AnEngravedMark.

We even offer as a perk a Perception Profile plus a signed copy of the book.

Are you intrigued?

If you have any questions feel free to visit our website at http://www.anoddbox.com or drop us a comment.

Thank you,

Ron and Mary

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Is it Poor Character

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I just received an email lambasting me for using crowdfunding to help us publish our book. The emailer suggested that I was engaging in bad character. Since our book is all about engaging in genuine character, I had to step back and assess if there was justification within the emailer’s premise. Am I asking people for a handout? Am I shirking my accountability? Am I diminishing my character?

The pendant we offer as a perk takes me about an hour to make. The Perception Profile we offer as a perk is normally something I charge over $200 for my creating and assessing the data. The book we offer as a perk contains much of the information I use in Character Profiling sessions. I consider the book to be thousands of sessions stuffed into 400 pages. I have stopped working to focus on our book and the movement we are trying to create toward defining and applying character. Yes I am not making any money right now. Yes my retirement is gone. Yes there is a cardboard box in the cleanest alley I can find lingering as a bear on the horizon. Yes I could use some help. I believe I am offering my services and I am working my ass off, but am I diminishing my character by engaging in this crowdfunding action?

I can guarantee that I will assess the hell out of this. However, the virtue of Humanities requires the character strength of collaboration. Working together to solve, create, and become something more.

Is it the character of Pride that influences the virtue of Courage? Is it the character of Justice that influences the virtue of Integrity? Perhaps it is the character of Respect that influences the virtue of Humanities. Perhaps it is the character of Hope that seeks the virtue of Transcendence. Perhaps … perhaps it is a sublimation against the fear of shame of which diminishes all characters and virtues.

May I ask: What is your wisdom on this matter? Is my character sound in my intent for the cause and movement of this book? Is it a sublimation that I might not see the wrong in what I am doing? Is the email just arguing with an ORC that is stuck in the Horns Effect? Or am I the Obstinate Reactive Cognition that is suppressing the fear of shame for asking others for help? Am I stuck in the Halo Effect?

What is your wisdom on this matter?

If you would like to assess our campaign feel free to follow this link: https://igg.me/at/AnEngravedMark

If you would like to assess our website feel free to follow this link: http://www.anoddbox.com

Character is tested when Character is tested.

I welcome your collaboration.

Thank you.

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AnOddBox®: Obstinate Reactive Cognition

I have not written a post in a while as I have struggled in perseverance. Nearly every day I make the statement that there is a method to my madness. I may not harbor what I state, but I hold a premise as to why I state it… A premise grows strong toward truth by rationale… Thus my method is to promote rationale. The struggle I face every day is Obstinate Reactive Cognition…

In perhaps my most previous post I stated that the message of Christ could not be achieved by Christians. There was a reason why I stated this… A response I received was rather ironic and admittedly was a punch in the gut… My own profession omitted the post for reason of me making that statement. To face Obstinate Reactive Cognition from the expected masters of cognition…, left me somber that my hope for Human is a Melancholy Hope…, a hopeless hope…

So what is Obstinate Reactive Cognition…? Though it is a highly provocative concept that animals have cognition it is not beyond mere observation to see my pug engaging in a degree of strategy to get around my attention to get to the cat’s litter box (I know…, yuk!). However, there is a strong premise to not anthropomorphize animals. By and large, animals react from stimuli far greater than from reason, and because at this point we have not deciphered animal language we can only go by the observation that animals do not exhibit a high degree of executive rationale. I am confident to say that by and large animals have the capacity for knowledge with a degree of understanding, and I am even more confident that animals behave predominately from stimuli. Animals have Reactive Cognition… The bear does what a bear does…

Many times I have observed human animals stating, “I don’t know why I did it…, I just did it…” Or, “I don’t know why I can’t stop…, I just can’t…” Or, “I don’t know why I think this…, I just do…” I could just chalk these individuals up as animals and let it be what it is… The bear does what a bear does… But these are human animals with the capability of rationale…, and thus I must try for the human…

Far more often than the above I come across a human animal that states, “That’s just the way I was raise…” Or, “That’s just my personality…” Or, “That’s just who I am…” Or any number of barrier/defensive statements… Ignorance is understandable as ignorance means not knowing. Obstinate on the other hand is a choice…, a choice to refuse any attempt of persuasion…, a choice to refuse rationale…

Obstinate Reactive Cognition is the refusal to engage in rationale… Obstinate Reactive Cognition is not a disease…, not a biological defect…, it is not ignorance… Obstinate Reactive Cognition is a choice to be reactive to stimuli rather than rationale…

The population that I work with exhibit more ignorance than obstinacy. Though some do exhibit obstinate behavior the scales tend to tip more on the side of ignorance. What inspires me about this scale of ignorance is that these human animals want to know how to be human. Much of society do not like the population I work with…, hell much of my profession does not like the population I work with. I am often cautioned against burnout with this population. Unfortunately, I observe more Obstinate Reactive Cognition at the mall…, at the grocery store…, in traffic…, on internet commentaries and social medias…, and again, even in my own profession. I observe more Obstinate Reactive Cognition in the population I walk with than the population I work with…

I often ask…, it is but of many questions I often ask…, but I ask with an intent… If Satan were to do a good thing does this make Satan good…? If Satan does a good thing does it make the good thing evil…? I am intrigued by the answers I hear, yet I am often dismayed by the who that speaks their answers. More often than other the fallen ask questions before stating an answer… More often than other it is the risen that state a reactive yes or no…

Wisdom once said that if one wants to save the world one must first answer does the world want to be saved. Wisdom also said that if one only watches the fall…, one watches while falling… What…, oh what…, does the one do…?

Email: oddmail@anoddbox.com

Website: http://anoddbox.com

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AnOddBox – But There Are…

AnOddBoxFigure014AnOddBox – But There Are…
“My Mommy Said There Were No Monsters. No Real Ones. But There Are.” Aliens 1986
I do not recall many memories of when I was a child… There is however, a memory that is vivid and has stayed with me for forty-three year… It was kindergarten… A class play about three goats and a troll… I was the troll… Under the table that staged the bridge, I waited for my turn… But there were eyes everywhere… Giggles and whispers… My face was hot… My heart was beating so hard… My eyes… I was starting to cry… And their eyes… They would see me cry…
When my part came, I could not come out… I was too afraid… I heard a growl that came from a face I had thought was pretty… She was angry… Her hands looked so big, as they reached under the table and grabbed my arm… She dragged me from my cave like I was a doll pulled from a box… She shook me… Her hands squeezing my arm… Why did she hate me…?
My arm… I felt her squeezing harder and harder…, but it did not hurt… It was my heart that was hurting… Not an emotional pain… My heart physically hurt like a pain I had felt before… Why were her hands hurting my heart…? She was a monster…
Forty-three years and I still remember this one memory of a five year old child… So why talk about this childhood monster…? I can talk for hours about horror stories of war, death, murder, homicide, and countless other monsters… Why the monster of a five year old…?
In my profession I can hear as many horror stories as I can talk about… The feelings are common… Why would the feelings not be common…? There are only a small amount of afferent feelings…, thus it would only stand to reason that feelings would be commonly shared… The emotions are also common… Why would the emotions not be common…? Actually this is a good question…
Emotions are labels identifying the association between feelings and a phenomenon… An event occurs…, our natural (and/or scripted) temperament responds…, we then associate the response to the event and label what we are experiencing as an emotion… But why would the emotions be common…? There are more emotion labels then I have wall space to cover… There are far more emotions than afferent feelings … As there are far less afferent feelings then emotion labels…, one might ponder on the duplication of afferent feelings in various associative emotion labels… With the ratio of afferent feelings to emotion labels I would tend to reason that the emotion label would have a degree of variability as the emotions would stem from each individual’s associative perspective… However, in the telling of the story…, the emotions are common… As I am a psychology nerd…, the commonality of feelings and emotions in the telling of a story…, is intriguing…
It is not unusual that a child’s monster will be told the same as the monsters of adults…
At times I take others on an imaginative journey into the mountains… We come across a bear and I ask…: What do you feel…? Unanimously the response is fear… Why are you afraid…? Because the bear can rip me apart and eat me…! Is the bear mauling and eating you…? No…, but it can… So are you afraid of the bear…, or are you afraid of the associative thought of what the bear might do…? The majority still tend to say the bear…, even when it is an imaginative bear… Oh the irony… Monsters in the imagination…
I took a trauma training course… As usual there was an example given of a gazelle experiencing a traumatic event… And…, as usual…, I questioned… Why do we use animals to try to explain human trauma…? I will concede that we humans do not fully understand the animal thought potential, but thus far the premise is that animals are governed by linear temperament responses… Animals are governed by instinct… Animals experience an afferent sensation and an efferent response… Animals do not experience trauma… Trauma is a human word with a human definition… Humans will experience the afferent sensation and efferent response, much as an animal…, but animals will instinctually move on, whereas humans…, with our limited mastery of meta-cognition…, ruminate the association…, and create monsters…
But these monsters are not real… Right…?
I was bullied a lot when I was young… As a response to being bullied…, I dreamed…, nightmares…, of being beaten… As a response to the monsters of my dreams…, I learned to fight… I became a Marine…, and I became strong… Lethally strong…
Many, many years ago I was unaware (Stage 1) of my temperament responses… Sure…, I was most definitely a thinker…, but a thinker that is not aware of temperament…, is still Stage 1… An individual attacked me at my place of work… At first it was just a fight… I hurt him pretty bad… Perhaps this is what made the intent change… The man became a monster…
I remember the thought… He wants to kill me… I remember the thought… I have to kill him… There are many deadly spots to hit a person… I only needed to choose one… And I did… I remember the commitment… The strike was perfect… His eyes glazed as he looked to be staring beyond me… A light perhaps… Then he fell… I became a monster…
Fortunately he survived… Hospital, jail, fines…, he faced a lot of consequences for his actions… As for me…? The revelation was a spark… A single second can take away a breath… The commitment…, can take away a life… The ignorance…, the unaware…, can create a monster…
Without awareness…, an event becomes a temperament experience… The consequences are uncontrolled… The consequences are…, well…, what-ever… When an individual commits to an action without the Prudence of consequence…, the commitment cannot be taken back simply because the individual is not satisfied… That which is created is created to live… It is Frankenstein’s monster…
AnOddBox topic: Are you aware of your temperament…? Are you creating monsters…?

Email: oddmail@anoddbox.com

Website: http://anoddbox.com

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